TURKEY SHOOT!

This short, true tale centres on an old villager who for the sake of this tale we'll call Old Nick. Now Nick has taken it upon himself to be the village special constable, a kind of one man vigilante band armed with a cloth cap and wooden walking stick. Nick can be seen at all hours, walking the streets of Chappel & Wakes Colne, ensuring that the streets are safe to walk, free from litter, that kind of thing. A man of short stature, Nick's face, is dominated by two piercing grey eyes, set into a face covered by a tough, weather beaten tanned skin that ends in a strong jutting jaw. His short but broad frame is enclosed in a black menacing donkey jacket and is supported by thick powerful legs that beat out a loud rat tap as he pounds his beat. The sight of Nick striding purposefully along with his wooden stick held firmly in his right hand , his cloth cap set firmly at an angle on his head and his two dogs held tightly in his left hand is enough to strike the fear of God into man and beast. Nick's beat encompasses the entire parishes of both villages and he aims to cover every lane, bridleway footpath once a week. Always on the look out for any sign of misdemeanour or criminal activity by village residents, Nick is quick to act and not afraid to serve out, on the spot, acts of justice on any person caught misbehaving. Now, it would appear that one day, an individual caught misbehaving by Nick decided to seek revenge. Nick set out to do a circular reccy of Chappel taking in the School and footpath alongside the railway viaduct. For a couple of days, Nick had sensed that something was following him on his daily inspections, although his two dogs had not been behaving differently. As Nick crossed the River Colne roadbridge he thought he heard the crack of twigs from behind the brick wall on his right. "Funny" muttered Nick as he strode past The Swan, "must be something creeping around in the undergrowth." striding past the village school, Nick decided to check St. Barnabas Church "better safe than sorry" he thought. As Nick turned right into the lane leading to the church a shadowy figure hurried in the opposite direction along the footpath towards the viaduct. Having satisfied himself that the Church was safe and secure, Nick decided to check the village football pitch, before heading off home along the A604. Crossing the footbridge over the River Colne, Nick turned right and followed the path under the viaduct arch and entered the field next to the football pitch. Nick was halfway across the field when he heard a faint crack and felt a whiz of air across his face. Nick looked around as another faint crack preceded a second airgun pellet heading in his direction. Now, Nick is not afraid of anything, but realising that he was under fire and unarmed except for his stick, decided to seek re-enforcements in the guise of the local constabulary. Hurtling North across the football pitch, Nick showed surprisingly agility for an 80 year old by vaulting across a hedgerow before plunging into the ice cold river & wading across . All the time air rifle pellets were whizzing overhead, whoever it was, certainly had it in for Nick and were determined to use him as target practise. Scrambling up the river bank, Nick beat his way through the nettles and dashed headlong across the A604, with the screech of brakes and a "you bloody idiot" ringing in his ears, Nick arrived at the village bobbies house and started beating frantically on the front door. Inside, safe from the phantom pellet shooter, Nick explained that someone had been taking pot shots at him and demanded police protection. Alas the culprit was never identified and until this day remains a mystery.